Sibling Responsibilities and Autism

Siblings of children with autism often have a unique set of responsibilities. In this article, we'll explore the roles that siblings might take on, and how parents can support them.

steven zauderer
Steven Zauderer
December 13, 2023
9
min read

Understanding Sibling Responsibilities

When a child has autism, it can impact the entire family. Siblings may take on additional responsibilities to help their brother or sister. These responsibilities might include:

  • Helping with daily living tasks, such as dressing or feeding
  • Providing emotional support and comfort
  • Advocating for their sibling in school or social situations
  • Taking on additional household chores

While these responsibilities may be important, it's also important to remember that siblings are children too. They need time to play, relax, and have fun. Parents should strive to balance the needs of all of their children.

Supporting Siblings

As a parent, you want to support all of your children. Here are some tips for supporting siblings of children with autism:

Talk About It

Communication is key. Talk to your child about their feelings and concerns. Let them know that it's okay to feel frustrated or overwhelmed. Encourage them to ask questions and share their thoughts.

Make Time for Them

It's important to carve out one-on-one time with each of your children. This can be challenging, but it's important for building strong relationships. Try to schedule regular outings or activities that your child enjoys.

Provide Resources

There are many resources available for siblings of children with autism. Support groups, books, and online communities can provide a sense of community and understanding. Consider connecting with other families in similar situations.

Don't Compare

Every child is unique. Avoid comparing your children to one another. Encourage each child to pursue their own interests and passions.

How Do You Deal with Autism with Siblings?

Dealing with autism in a family can be challenging, especially for siblings. Here are some additional tips to help siblings cope and thrive:

Educate Them About Autism

Education is key to understanding. Teach your children about autism, what it is, and how it affects their sibling. This can help them develop empathy and patience towards their sibling.

Encourage Them to Participate in Therapy

If your child with autism is receiving therapy, encourage your other children to participate as well. This can help them better understand their sibling's needs and learn new ways to interact with them.

Seek Family Counseling

Family counseling can be beneficial for everyone involved. A therapist can provide a safe space for siblings to express their feelings and concerns about their sibling's autism, while also helping parents find ways to support all of their children.

Celebrate Their Achievements

It's important to celebrate the achievements of all of your children, including those without autism. Encourage siblings to pursue their own passions and interests, and celebrate their accomplishments just as you would with your child with autism.

By following these tips, parents can help ensure that all of their children feel loved, supported, and understood within the family dynamic.

Talking to Extended Family and Friends

It can be difficult to talk to extended family members and friends about the challenges of having a child with autism. However, involving them in supporting all of the children in the family can be incredibly helpful. Here are some suggestions for how to approach these conversations:

Be Honest

Be honest about your child's diagnosis and the challenges that come along with it. It's important for others to understand what you're going through so that they can offer support.

Share Resources

Provide resources such as books or websites that explain autism and its impact on families. This can help others better understand what you're going through.

Ask for Help

Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Let others know specific ways they can support your family, such as spending time with your other children or helping out with household chores.

Encourage Understanding

Encourage extended family members and friends to spend time with your child with autism. This can help them better understand their needs and abilities.

Focus on All Children

Remind extended family members and friends that all of your children need love and support. Encourage them to spend time with each child individually, doing activities they enjoy.

By involving extended family members and friends in supporting all of the children in the family, you'll create a stronger support system for everyone involved.

Strategies for Helping Siblings Manage Stress and Anxiety

Growing up with a sibling with autism can be stressful and anxiety-inducing for siblings. Here are some strategies that parents can use to help their children manage these difficult emotions:

Encourage Self-Care

Encourage siblings to take care of themselves by engaging in self-care activities such as exercise, meditation, or spending time doing something they enjoy. These activities can help them relax and feel more balanced.

Provide Emotional Support

Make sure to provide emotional support for your other children. Let them know that it's okay to feel overwhelmed and stressed out. Listen to their concerns and validate their feelings.

Teach Coping Skills

Teach siblings coping skills such as deep breathing exercises, visualization techniques, or mindfulness practices. These skills can help them manage stress and anxiety in the moment.

Create a Safe Space

Create a safe space where siblings can go when they need a break from the stress of living with a sibling with autism. This could be a quiet room in the house or a favorite spot outside where they can relax and unwind.

Seek Professional Help

If your child is experiencing significant stress or anxiety related to their sibling's autism, consider seeking professional help. A therapist or counselor can help your child develop coping strategies and provide additional emotional support.

By implementing these strategies, parents can help their children manage the stress and anxiety that often comes along with having a sibling with autism.

Involving Siblings in Therapy Sessions

Involving siblings in their brother or sister's therapy sessions can be a great way to help them understand and support their sibling's progress. Here are some tips for parents on how to involve siblings in therapy sessions:

Talk to the Therapist

Talk to your child's therapist about involving siblings in therapy sessions. They may have suggestions for age-appropriate activities or resources that can help siblings better understand their sibling's needs.

Prepare Your Child

Before bringing a sibling to a therapy session, prepare them by explaining what will happen during the session and what they can expect. Let them know that they may be asked to participate in activities or games with their sibling.

Encourage Participation

Encourage siblings to participate in therapy activities with their brother or sister. This can help them feel more connected and involved in the process.

Provide Positive Reinforcement

Provide positive reinforcement for siblings who participate in therapy activities with their brother or sister. Praise them for their efforts and let them know how much it means to both you and their sibling.

Be Flexible

Be flexible with your expectations for sibling participation. Some days, they may be more willing or able to participate than others. It's important to respect your child's boundaries and preferences.

By involving siblings in therapy sessions, parents can help create a sense of teamwork and support within the family, which can ultimately benefit everyone involved.

Addressing Feelings of Resentment and Jealousy

It's not uncommon for siblings of children with autism to experience feelings of resentment or jealousy. These emotions can be difficult to deal with, but it's important to address them in order to maintain healthy family relationships. Here are some tips for addressing these emotions:

Validate Their Feelings

The first step in addressing any negative emotions is to validate them. Let your child know that it's normal to feel resentful or jealous at times, and that their feelings are valid.

Encourage Open Communication

Encourage your child to talk openly about their feelings. Listen without judgment and try to understand where they're coming from. This can help them feel heard and supported.

Provide Education

Provide education about autism and its impact on individuals and families. This can help siblings better understand their sibling's needs and challenges, which may reduce feelings of resentment or jealousy.

Create Opportunities for Positive Interactions

Create opportunities for positive interactions between siblings. Encourage your other children to spend time playing games or doing activities with their sibling with autism. This can help build stronger relationships and reduce negative emotions.

Seek Professional Help

If your child is struggling with significant feelings of resentment or jealousy, consider seeking professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide additional support and guidance on how to manage these difficult emotions.

By addressing any negative emotions that siblings may experience, parents can help create a more harmonious family environment for everyone involved.

Long-Term Impact and Preparation

Having a sibling with autism can have a long-term impact on a person's life. As siblings grow up, they may continue to take on responsibilities for their brother or sister with autism. This can affect their relationships, career choices, and overall well-being.

It's important for parents to prepare their other children for the potential long-term impact of having a sibling with autism. Here are some ways to do so:

Talk About the Future

Talk openly with your child about what the future might look like. Discuss how their sibling's needs may change as they get older, and how this might impact the family dynamic.

Encourage Independence

Encourage your child to develop independence skills early on. This can include things like learning to cook, clean, and manage finances. These skills will be valuable later in life when they may need to take on more responsibility for their sibling.

Foster Strong Relationships

Encourage your child to build strong relationships outside of the family. This can include friendships, romantic relationships, and professional connections. These relationships will provide support and fulfillment throughout their lives.

Seek Professional Help

Consider seeking professional help for your child if they are struggling with the long-term impact of having a sibling with autism. A therapist or counselor can provide guidance on how to manage emotions and plan for the future.

By taking steps to prepare siblings for the long-term impact of having a sibling with autism, parents can help ensure that all of their children thrive in adulthood.

How Much a Sibling Is Affected by Having a Family Member with ASD?

Growing up with a sibling with autism can have both positive and negative impacts on siblings. On the one hand, siblings may develop increased empathy, patience, and understanding towards individuals with disabilities. They may also develop unique strengths and skills such as advocacy, problem-solving, and adaptability.

On the other hand, growing up with a sibling with autism can be challenging for siblings. They may experience feelings of isolation, confusion, or resentment towards their sibling or parents. Siblings may also take on additional responsibilities such as providing care or support for their brother or sister with autism.

Research has shown that siblings of children with autism are at an increased risk for emotional and behavioral problems compared to siblings without disabilities. However, it's important to note that not all siblings will experience negative outcomes.

Factors such as age, gender, birth order, family dynamics, and level of support can all impact how much a sibling is affected by having a family member with ASD. It's important for parents to be aware of these potential impacts and provide support and resources for all of their children.

By acknowledging the potential challenges while also highlighting the unique strengths and opportunities that come along with having a sibling with autism, parents can help create a supportive environment where all of their children can thrive.

FAQs

What kind of responsibilities might siblings have when growing up with a brother or sister with autism?

Siblings may take on a variety of responsibilities, both big and small. This could include helping their sibling with daily tasks such as getting dressed or preparing meals, advocating for their sibling's needs at school or in the community, providing emotional support, or simply spending time playing and engaging with their sibling.

How can parents ensure that siblings don't feel overwhelmed by their responsibilities?

It's important for parents to communicate openly with their children about what is expected of them and to provide support and resources as needed. This could include hiring outside help for certain tasks, such as respite care or therapy services, or dividing up responsibilities among family members in a way that feels manageable.

Can having a sibling with autism impact a child's social life?

Yes, it's possible for having a sibling with autism to impact a child's social life. Siblings may feel embarrassed or ashamed of their brother or sister's behavior in public, which could lead them to withdraw from social situations. Additionally, siblings may have less time or energy to devote to friendships or extracurricular activities if they are taking on additional responsibilities at home.

What resources are available for siblings who need additional support?

There are many resources available for siblings who need additional support. These could include individual therapy sessions, support groups specifically for siblings of individuals with autism, online forums and communities where siblings can connect with others who share similar experiences, and respite care services that give siblings a break from caregiving duties.

By addressing common questions and concerns related to sibling responsibilities and autism, parents can help create an environment where all of their children feel supported and valued.

Conclusion

Having a child with autism can be challenging, but it can also bring families closer together. Siblings of children with autism may take on additional responsibilities, but with support and understanding, they can thrive. Remember to communicate openly, make time for each child, and provide resources and support when needed.

Sources

steven zauderer

CEO of CrossRiverTherapy - a national ABA therapy company based in the USA.

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